“What is the purpose of life? After much consideration, I believe that the purpose of life is to find happiness” – the Dalai Lama
January 26 has been a special day in my family for the last 23 years. On the same day in 2000 we were made citizens of Australia. A country which has like my country of birth given me so much. It embraced me and our family from day one. The positive outlook of the Country made me feel like I belong: something I don’t take for granted. The date this year, 2023, was also a milestone.
My good friend Awer Mabil was made Young Australian of the Year. Something that’s made me so happy. His story of him arriving in Australia via a refugee camp, settling with his Mum and family in Adelaide and making his way to represent the Socceroos in the World Cup and being a philanthropist through his fund raising for other refugees is remarkable as well as inspiring. However, there are other aspects of Awer which makes him a success: some which I know only through working with him closely as a mentor and mind coach to the Socceroos for the last four plus years.
Awer is a goal setter. I remember my first session with the Socceroos in Antalya in Turkey in 2018. After the session, Awer spent some time with me. He liked the references I made to Michael Phelps and to Roger Federer. I learned of his strong commitment to his family, particularly his deep love and respect of his Mum and siblings. He was clear from the outset what he wanted to achieve. He’s a real goal setter and continues in striving to improve as a person and in his chosen sport. You can use experiences such as difficult upbringing, low income, family tragedy and others as excuses for a sad life or, as Awer does, use them as drivers for higher improvement. No stone unturned on this. We talked about things such as peripheral vision and improving focus and attention and where I could, I would provide exercises or additional materials to help this curious young man. I remember introducing him to an app which had been built by neuroscientists with a number of exercises linked to improving focus and attention. I know for sure his scores on the app will have been higher than mine in just a short time. A few weeks after Antalya, I was celebrating his first game for the national team along with his good friend Thomas Deng. Graham Arnold and all of us in the Socceroos staff group had been nurturing and encouraging both boys in the lead up to the game against Kuwait. That game set the tone and the path for young talent to emerge and participate in a changing face of the national team all the way to the World Cup.
As I reflect on his Award, I think of some of the qualities which Awer applies in life. Interestingly, many of these are typically themes of contemporary writings from people who are known for wisdom in their field. Many who know my work in helping people grow and develop through mind and emotional training in sport, business and education know I often use Dan Siegel’s models including work on focussed attention, open awareness and kind intention. (see “Aware, the science and practice of presence” Dan Siegel). Naturally and through his genuine interest in growth and development, Awer works on all three. He is committed to constant improvement in his chosen profession, is very much aware of who he is and the energy and information between him and others and through his connections to family, friends and his charity, has a very kind heart.
I remember a particular conversation when we were in Al Ain in the Emirates. At the time I was reading the book of Joy which was a conversation piece between Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama and had become immersed in its messaging. Awer and I talked about the most joyful things in life. We both agreed with Desmond Tutu’s commentary:
“Ultimately the greatest joy is when we seek to do good for others.” We also shared their perspectives of the pillars of the mind and heart which I still use I some of my strategic psychotherapy work and so happy to see Awer embracing fully:
PILLARS OF THE MIND
- Perspective
- Humility
- Humour
- Acceptance
PILLARS OF THE HEART
- Forgiveness
- Gratitude
- Compassion
- Generosity
Just this week we learn of Awer’s “Barefoot to Boots” charity work which so far has donated more than two tonnes of boots and many more things into refugee camps including medical and educational equipment. Compassion, generosity and perspective for sure. It also demonstrates genuine leadership. The most recent Lencioni work “the six types of working genius” draws attention to six leadership activities: wonder, invention, discernment, galvanising, enablement, tenacity. Typically each one of us demonstrates two “genius” areas of leadership. In Awer I see wonder and galvanising. He’s got others around him that help him including his brother. However, Awer’s eyes are wide open to the possibilities in life and he has the unique spirit of galvanising others. A recipe for exciting things.
In recent weeks, I’ve been thrilled to see the announcement of the Adelaide 36ers XVenture Schools Program for year 10 HSC students in South Australia. The program takes much of what I’ve been teaching in elite sport, postgraduate and undergraduate classrooms and in the exec training room. One of the big lessons is the need to understand that we will experience highs and lows throughout life as does everybody. The key to a happy life is to learn and to practice overcoming the lows and to celebrate the highs. Those who are older in our society are likely to have experienced many of both. Those who are older and typically live a happy life have likely learned how to deal with such things.
For Awer, he’s young yet he has experienced many highs and lows already but significantly has already built considerable resilience through his young life. His early years weren’t easy. His life in elite sport is a constant up and down. He experienced the pain of deep loss when he heard the news his sister tragically died in a car accident in Australia when we were in the Emirates at the Asia Cup in 2019. I felt privileged to be there to support him when that happened. I was amazed of his ability to overcome the tragedy: not by shutting the thought down but by using his sister’s spirit as strength. He works to live a happy life.
One of the recent trips I undertook was to the USA with the Adelaide 36ers. Playing both Phoenix and Oklahoma in the NBA, this was an incredible experience. Just a few weeks before the World Cup to Qatar. Suffice to say, Adelaide put on a terrific performance against a mighty Phoenix side and made history by being the first Australian club side to win in the USA. Whilst I was there, I did what I typically do on an overseas trip and take a new book to read. On this occasion I took a book I had bought in the UK when I was working with the Birmingham Phoenix cricket team during the English Summer. The subject being very much connected with one of the key areas of my work: helping people with tools and techniques to be in a calm state when facing pressure moments. This particular book caught my eye: the more I read it the more I learned. One of the few I have honestly read from cover to cover. “Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art” by James Nestor is a revelation. How about this as a back cover comment:
“There is nothing more essential to our health and wellbeing than breathing: take air in, let it out, repeat 25,000 times a day…”
Back to Awer: a few months after his sister’s tragedy, I was having a chat to him one early morning. (Awer was in Denmark and I was in Sydney.). We talked about the ability to be calm, to relax, to rest. We talked of an exercise I took the team through in one camp: bringing a sense of calm in the last minute of a game. Awer: a young man short of 25 years old, sharing his belief in mindfulness, in focus on breathing to be aware of the present. So much wisdom at such a young age.
I sent a message to Awer to congratulate him on his Award. It was so good to see his Mum picking it up for him and his reference and care for her in his acceptance speech. It was a true reflection of modern Australia. Yesterday, I sent a link to the book on Breath. Awer is a life long learner and I know he will embrace it. It’s hard to imagine what else will unfold for our young Australian of the Year. I’m sure it will be rich and plentiful.
To find out more about Awer’s Foundation head to: https://barefoottoboots.org/
About the Author, Mike Conway:
Mike is one of Australia’s top emotional agility and mind coaches. His work has included being part of the coaching team as part of the most successful Socceroos team of all time, as well as work at elite level in cricket and basketball. He is also the author of the virtual world based learning program FCA XV Essential Skills, which provides access to all his work directly to football coaches via fcaxvcollege.com
